In the equestrian world, we wear our bruises like badges of honour. There is an unspoken rule that if you fall, you must immediately dust yourself off and get back on; otherwise, “the fear will set in.” As a Performance Psychologist, I’m here to tell you that this “grit-at-all-costs” mentality can sometimes be the very thing that keeps riders stuck in a cycle of anxiety.
While the intention is to prove to yourself that you’re okay, forcing a scared brain back into the saddle can risk doing more harm than good.
Let’s talk about the deeper work of recovery, and why you (and your nervous system!) can benefit from a better strategy than “just push through it.”
Performance Psychologist Deena Cooper says that a “grit-at-all-costs” mentality can actually work against you.
THE DANGER OF “FLOODING”
When we force ourselves to face a scary situation before we are ready, we risk a psychological phenomenon called flooding.
In theory, flooding is supposed to show you that the “danger” isn’t real. However, if you rush back without the right preparation and plan, you risk overwhelming your nervous system again, and your brain won’t register that you’re safe. In fact, this could make your brain record the experience as another negative one, potentially resulting in a secondary trauma.
Flooding can happen to your horse, too. Just like a human rider, if a horse is forced back into a scary situation before they are ready, they lose their “learning brain” and enter “panic brain.” Instead of solving the issue, this can backfire, creating a horse that is more fearful and avoidant than when you started. Managing the emotional wellbeing of both horse and rider is vital for a positive outcome.
To give us the best chance of a successful recovery after a serious fall, we have to move beyond just “grit” and look at the science of your nervous system. This starts with an understanding of our “Window of Tolerance”.
WHAT IS THE “WINDOW OF TOLERANCE”?
Coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, the Window of Tolerance is the mental and emotional state where you can function, process emotions, and therefore, ride effectively and safely. When you are inside this window, you feel calm, grounded, and alert. Your brain is capable of strategic thinking (meaning you can actually apply your coach’s advice!)
However, a fall or bad experience often “shrinks” this window, where your ability to cope with even minor stressors, like your horse shaking its head or a loud noise, can easily knock you out of your “calm window” into one of two defensive states.
DEFENSIVE STATES
1. Hyper-arousal: The “Fight or Flight” Zone
“Hyper-arousal” is the psychological term for when your nervous system is stuck on “high alert.” In the saddle, this can look like muscle tension, a racing heart, and hypervigilance (e.g. scanning for every possible thing your horse might shy at) or defensive anger toward the horse or yourself.
If you push through this state, you risk secondary trauma and a bad experience for you and your horse. Your brain isn’t in a state to learn because it’s in “survival mode” and your reaction can be defensive and reactive, without feel and timing.
2. Hypo-arousal: The “Freeze” Zone
Often overlooked in riding, hypo-arousal is the “shut down” response. This happens when the threat feels so big that it seems inescapable (where you can neither fight it nor outrun it) so the nervous system stops expending energy on the problem. In this state, your partnership with the horse may break down because you are no longer present enough to ride effectively, you miss cues from your horse, your attention may wander, you are slow to respond, or you may “freeze”. Again, your mind is not in an effective “learning” state, and your horse will likely “clock” that you are not the safe effective leader they need, again risking another bad experience for you and your horse.
“Your mind is not in an
effective ‘learning’ state…”
WIDENING THE WINDOW: HOW TO RECOVER
Step 1: Build awareness
Building awareness is essentially the “pre-ride check” of sport psychology. Before you ride, our physical “pre-ride check” includes checking the girth is tight, the stirrups are the right length, and that the bridle is fitted correctly. We want to see how everything looks and feels before we commit to getting on. If there are issues, we fix what we can, and adapt to what we can’t. Your mental state is no different, but instead of a physical pre-ride check, we have to develop the skills to do an internal “pre-ride check” so we notice when things are “off” and do something about it.
One of the ways we can notice if things are “off”, that is, if we are inside or outside our Window of Tolerance is to develop what psychologists call interoception. This is the ability to sense and interpret internal signals from your body.
After a fall or an accident, the brain often “mutes” these signals because the fear is too intense to process, or we use “grit” to try to override and ignore them. But you can’t manage what you don’t notice. To recognise if we are heading out of your Window of Tolerance, we have to be tuned into our “body clues”. They are physical “clues” your body has that tell you that you’re not feeling ok before your brain even registers it. Because every rider will have different “body clues”, you need to find your specific “tell.”
For example,
- Does your jaw tighten? Your shoulders tense up?
- Do you feel a sudden drop in energy? You might feel like you’re “behind the movement” or like your legs have turned to lead.
- Are you holding your breath?
By catching the shift early (when you are just starting to deviate from your Window of Tolerance) self-regulation strategies can be implemented earlier and more effectively. While there are many self-regulation strategies that can help, and what works will be different for every rider. I mention some key ones in this article that you might like to try.
When you build this awareness of your “body clues”, you stop being caught off guard by your panic. Instead of only realising you’ve pushed too far after a bad experience occurs, you’ll start to see the warning signs coming from a mile away, and you can use a strategy to regulate yourself before it affects your riding.
Step 2: Create a Graded Exposure Plan
Instead of forcing yourself to jump straight into the activity you were doing before the fall (whether that’s tackling a higher jump, riding outside the arena, or getting on a green horse) psychologists recommend using a process called Graded Exposure. It is a well-researched and evidenced-based way to reset your brain’s alarm system. Rather than “white knuckling” through the fear, you take away its power by breaking the scary task into tiny, manageable “rungs” on a ladder.
The goal is to make each step toward your goal (e.g. getting back on a green horse) so small, and repeated so often, that your nervous system eventually stops reacting, and the task actually becomes boring. You start on a rung that feels “challenging but doable,” and you stay there until your fear feels like it has cut in half (reduced by 50%). Only when you feel significantly more calm do you attempt the next step.
For example, after a traumatic fall off a green horse, the first few rungs on your ladder might look like this.
Grooming and tacking up, even if you have no intention of getting on, can form a meaningful step towards long term progress.
Rung One: Stand in the arena where the fall happened. Just breathe and regulate.
Rung Two: Groom and tack up, even if you have no intention of getting on.
Rung Three: Stand on the mounting block. If your heart rate stays steady, stay there. If it spikes, step down and breathe until it settles.
Rung Four: Sit in the saddle while someone holds the horse.
By breaking the “scary thing” into tiny, digestible bites, you teach your nervous system that it’s safe before you progress onto the next rung.
TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL PLAN
Designing a graded exposure plan is both an art and a science. And, if you’ve had a bad experience, your brain is unlikely to be the most objective judge of what is “safe” versus “dangerous.”
For the best results, and to avoid pitfalls that might set you back rather than progress you forward, this plan is created with the guidance of a qualified mental health professional, as well as a supportive and understanding riding coach. For example, here are some of the common pitfalls that need to be expertly navigated to effectively rebuild confidence:
Skipping rungs: It’s tempting to jump ahead when you feel good, but “ending on a high note” (like a successful walk) is better than pushing for a trot and having a setback.
Finding the “Working Edge”: It is notoriously difficult to be your own objective observer. You might ignore subtle signs of overwhelm until it’s too late, or alternatively you might stay so long in your comfort zone and you never progress. This is why an external perspective is vital.
Distraction traps: Distraction often involves pretending the fear isn’t there. You might hum, wiggle your toes, or look away from the scary arena corner. On the other hand, regulation involves learning how to notice the fear, staying present in your body, and using tools like grounding breaths to stay in your Window of Tolerance. While both might get you through a single ride, only one (regulation) actually has the potential to cure your fear in the long term. With distraction, the trigger is never processed, the fear remains waiting for you the moment the distraction disappears. Identifying whether you are using a regulation strategy or a distraction strategy isn’t always easy, and most riders need a second pair of eyes to spot the difference.
Designing a graded exposure plan is both an art and a science, however it can help you get back in the saddle – and feel comfortable there.
Not adjusting the plan: Progress is rarely a straight line. It’s more like a mountain trail – full of switchbacks, plateaus, and the occasional need to head back down to find a safer path. One day you might be at Rung 5, and the next day you might only have the capacity for Rung 2. That isn’t a failure; it’s part of the process. The process often requires the courage to “step back” in order to move forward with a more solid foundation.
Ignoring the “micro-wins”: If your only win today was sitting on your horse for five minutes while staying regulated, praise yourself. This is a massive victory because each small step is literally rewiring your nervous system. Riders often feel guilty about “starting small” and get frustrated that they aren’t back to where they used to be. But beating yourself up only adds a new layer of emotional baggage. To succeed, you must disarm your inner critic. Being kind to yourself and celebrating every small win isn’t just a nice idea, it’s a vital ingredient for progress.
A FINAL NOTE: COMPETENCE BUILDS CONFIDENCE
Finally, remember that confidence is a byproduct of competence in both technical skill and mindset strategies.
If your fall happened because your horse bolted and you lost your seat, the answer isn’t “white-knuckling” it or trying to “be brave.” Part of the solution is technical skills like improving your core stability and horsemanship skills like learning the mechanics of a “one-rein stop.” When you build the physical tools to handle “what-ifs” your brain naturally begins to feel safer. However, technical skill is only half the battle. As a Performance Psychologist who also spends my life in the saddle, I know that you can have the best seat in the world and still be paralysed by your own internal dialogue.
If you are used to using self-criticism as motivation or distraction as a way to “get through” anxiety, you are working with a limited mental toolkit. True confidence lies in knowing you have the skills in your toolkit for whatever shows up, whether it’s on show day or a Tuesday training session. When you trust your body to respond and your mind to stay regulated, the “fear of the fall” loses its power, and the joy of the ride returns. EQ
Performance Psychologist Deena Cooper and her horses.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Deena Cooper is a registered Performance & Clinical Psychologist (AHPRA) with a unique edge: she is an active competitive rider who understands the saddle as well as she understands the science.
Having navigated her own path from performance anxiety to confidence, Deena combines personal experience with evidence-based psychological strategies to help riders of all disciplines. She focuses on helping equestrians conquer nerves, recover confidence after setbacks, and build the “mental muscle” required for peak performance.
Based in Australia, Deena works with riders via Telehealth, offering 1:1 coaching, in-person and online workshops designed to turn anxiety into your competitive advantage.
Website: www.deenacooper.com.au
Follow: @deenacooperpsych
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